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The Power Of Your Word and Saying No

How to build leadership through the integrity of your word

Welcome to the 20 Hour Founders, a weekly newsletter where I provide actionable insights to help you build better systems and teams to scale your business and reclaim your freedom.

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Today at a Glance:

  • The words you speak reinforce and recreate your experience of reality

  • The level of leadership you’re seen for will match the integrity of your word

  • Saying No protects your integrity, and therefore, your leadership

  • Know when to Say No with 3 Simple Questions

The Power Of Your Words

Your words have tremendous power: over you and those you lead.

The words you speak are a reflection of your inner beliefs. They reinforce and recreate your experience of reality.

And when you’re in a position of leadership, they will also impact the people you lead.

Using disempowering language towards yourself will reflect and reinforce a limiting belief about your identity.

  • I’m not good with marketing and sales

  • I’m not great with building and leading teams

  • I’m always struggling or failing with business

You’re unconsciously convincing yourself that these thoughts are true.

And when you believe them, you codify them into your reality.

Disempowering thoughts and the inner critic is inevitable. So what should you do instead?

Rewrite your words and you’ll rewrite the code.

  • Catch the habit of using disempowering language

  • Pause and step back without judging or shaming yourself

  • Rewrite and choose words that match the reality you want to create

The key here is to believe the words you’ve re-coded.

  • What do I need to learn to get good with marketing and sales?

  • What would make me better at building and leading teams?

  • What did I learn from my struggles and failures that make me now better at business?

All this also applies to words you use towards those you lead.

Choose disempowering words and you reinforce their belief, and therefore, their experience of their reality.

Re-choose your words and you train people to re-code their belief and reality.

Integrity is Leadership

As an entrepreneur, it’s easy to put all your focus on building and growing your business.

Forgetting an equally (if not more) important role you’ve taken on: leadership.

The level of leadership and influence you’re seen for by your team, customers, and community is directly proportionate to the integrity of your word.

Integrity here can be applied to 2 things:

  • To say what you mean and mean what you say

  • To do what you say you’re going to do or not do

Read those again and let it really sink in.

Then be radically honest and rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, how strong is the integrity of your word.

  • Do you say what you mean, not withholding your truth?

  • Do you mean what you say, not saying what you want people to hear?

  • When you say you’re going to do something, or accept a task, do you complete it?

  • When you say you’re not going to do something, do you honor it?

If you’re feeling really courageous, go and ask the people you lead (your team, customers, community, family) to rate you.

Want to step up into greater leadership, start with crystallizing the integrity of your word.

Saying No

Being in integrity with your word sometimes (probably most times) requires Saying No.

Saying no to projects, tasks, and opportunities given to you will protect your integrity.

Struggling to say no is a “people pleaser” pattern.

People Pleaser Leadership is weak leadership. A bit harsh? It’s a truth I subscribe to and invite you to reflect on.

People pleasing is a behavioral pattern where people seek approval and validation by being extremely nice and accommodating to others, even at the expense of their own needs.

This stems from a fear of rejection and a desire to please others and be accepted. While the intention may be good, the impact does more harm to both you and others.

It chips away at your integrity, your leadership, and your team’s trust in you.

A leadership flex is knowing when to say no and modelling this integrity to your team.

Know When To Say No

With 3 simple questions.

I learned this practice from a relationship and communication coach.

It’s when you have something you want to say to someone—especially when you’re angry or emotionally triggered—you ask yourself first:

  • Does this actually need to be said?

  • If so, does this need to be said by me?

  • If so, does this need to be said by me right now?

If I answered no to any one of those, then I would pause and take a step back from saying it.

I would reflect on the power of the words I wanted to say, and decide if I needed to rewrite and recode them. Then I decided when I should say them.

Not only did this practice change the way I communicate in my relationships. It also works when applied it to my workflow.

When projects, tasks, or opportunities fall onto my plate, I ask the same 3 questions before saying yes to them:

  • Does this actually need to be done? Maybe it’s irrelevant, unnecessary, not a good use of my time, or not aligned with my company’s goals.

  • If it does need to be done, then I ask: Does this need to be done by me? Maybe there’s someone else on my team this is better suited to, or maybe it could be automated.

  • If it does need to be done by me, then I ask: Does this need to be done by me now? Is this important enough that it needs to be done now or can it be scheduled for later?

This helps me filter out projects and tasks that are irrelevant, can be delegated or automated, or simply don't need my attention right now.

That way I’m prioritizing what’s most important AND I’m protecting my integrity by only committing to what I know I’ll do and complete.

Use these 3 questions as your filter for deciding when to say yes or no to things that your team gives you.

Stay in integrity, strengthen leadership, and model the power of words.

To wrap things up…

The well-known magic word “abracadabra” translates to “I create that which I speak”.

Your word is magic.

You teach people to know that if you said it, it is so. You also teach the universe that if you believe it, it is so.

Colin’s Recommendations

A book I just finished reading and recommend…

10X Is Easier Than 2X by Benjamin Hardy

Why I like it:

  • Hardy breaks down the science and practice of the previously vague concept of “10X’ing”

  • His process and methods are counterintuitive but when put into practice, gives me the sense of “of course!”

  • All this can be applied to both business and life

The Weekly Round-Up

Awesome content and things I’ve shared this past week…

I’m starting a YouTube channel this week!

Yup, that means video content and in-depth trainings coming soon.

How I Can Help You Grow Your Business

When you’re ready…

Check out my Business OS to see how I can help you implement a business management system that’ll supercharge your team and get you from “drowning in work” to an extra free day every week.

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